3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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