Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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