I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
