Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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