Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
