Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
