Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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