He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
