I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Its about making memories worth repressing
My vagina just recognized that song.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
