Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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