so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Randomize
