So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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