Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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