I'm really into asian looking animals
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Randomize
