im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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