ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
