I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
