after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
My liver just had a heart attack.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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