After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
