if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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