never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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