Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
