just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
