So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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