i don't plan on having that self control this summer
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
