Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
birth control should be required to get into college
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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