it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
