I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
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