Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
