so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
