id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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