BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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