Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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