I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
