who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
are you so shy because you have an std?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize
