I met the friendliest cop last night
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
ok first of all what the fuck
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
