He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Randomize
