Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
