I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
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