What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
