Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
