is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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