We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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