in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Randomize
