Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
