I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Randomize