id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Randomize
