you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
