This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
