Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
