party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
