Do you still have your period?
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
