I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
