I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize