I faked an abortion last night.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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