have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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