He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
