i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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