Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
so much tequila, so little girl.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
