It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
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