I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
