the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Randomize
