They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Randomize
