Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
