she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
my poor anus
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
