It's Friday. Sex?
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Randomize
