So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Randomize