he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
