Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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