Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
