you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
