Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
