my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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