I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize