My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
