Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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