Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Randomize