Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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