jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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