But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
