I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
