K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
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