marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
