Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
