Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
