Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
you would pick up someone in the library
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
